Forgiveness is the only gift I give, because it is the only gift I want.
– A Course in Miracles, Lesson 297
I know, on this day, that I am not an enlightened master, because forgiveness is far from my heart. Last night, the Republican party accomplished its ultimate goal of packing the US Supreme Court with far-right ideologues who will favor corporations over the American people and roll back the civil rights advances of court’s past. It will be a generation before the court can be “righted” or even balanced again, if ever, depending on future presidents and the make-up of the Senate. There is talk of expanding the court, but I am skeptical that Democrats, who constantly bring jello to a gun fight, will have the political stomach to make it happen.
Given this event – and the past four years – I realize this morning that I have not forgiven those who either sat out the election in 2016 or those who voted “their conscience” and threw their ballots away on third-party candidates. See? I can’t even describe it in a forgiving way.
I’m angry. Check that, I’m furious. It has taken the near destruction of our entire governmental system to motivate the American people to turn off Netflix and The Voice long enough to go to the polls and vote. The current “president” (see, my unforgiveness is growing) showed us long before he even ran for the office what kind of person he was – selfish, ego-driven, compassionless, contentious, self-centered, dishonest, rude, angry, divisive, racist, misogynistic, grievance-filled and recalcitrant. Republican leaders, such as Sen. Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, have also shown their true colors – blocking legislation and coronavirus relief packages that would help the American people and instead focusing on packing the lower courts with right-wing ideologues after eight years of blocking then-President Barack Obama from making appointments, as was his right as president.
The GOP, to its credit, has walked lock-step for the past four decades or so to make this nightmare of theirs come true. They have created a government for the oligarchs, by the oligarchs and of the oligarchs.
And now, I have to forgive them and the voters who have enabled them?
Yes.
Damn it.
It’s often been said by people much wiser than I am that the only reason we ever forgive is for ourselves – so we can move on – so those we feel have offended us aren’t living rent-free in our heads. I thought I had. I believed I had moved on, but today I realize I had just locked all that unforgiveness away in a closet and never really dealt with it.
Today, the Course calls me to unlock the closet and unpack all that anger, pain and frustration. I won’t do it in one day, certainly. I’ve been holding onto it for years, after all.
The conventional wisdom is true – unforgiveness harms only those of us who would hold onto the hot coal of anger waiting for it to burn someone else. Forgiveness truly is the only gift we have to give this world because it is truly what we want for ourselves. I don’t want to be judged forever by my last mistake – or my last attempt (successful or not) to manipulate the world into how I want it to be, no matter how many people got hurt in the process.
Why is forgiveness so powerful? Because, this lesson says, “everything I give, I give myself. This is salvation’s simple formula.”
I cannot forgive those other people who I blame for the last four years simply because I have not forgiven myself. I, too, grew complacent in the Obama years. I, too, abdicated my responsibility as a citizen to agitate for change and to ensure the mechanisms of our government were respected and upheld. I share blame in what is happening. We all do. That is why forgiveness is paramount. Without it, we cannot move forward together in a way that will redeem the world and bring about peace and joy for all of us – not just a select few.
Just a few lessons ago – in 292 – Holy Spirit assured us that “a happy outcome to all things is sure.” Joy will always be the final outcome of this world, no matter how chaotic and depressing it may seem to be at the moment. This “happy” outcome doesn’t depend on the outcome of elections or even how voters or leaders behave themselves. It depends on us. It depends on forgiveness – of ourselves first, and then radiating outward to others, knowing that whenever we forgive – we are on the path to salvation – which is an end to our separation and restoration to our true unity.
Granted, all that seems easier when you don’t have a boisterous bully dictator-wannabe at the helm of your nation. (Yikes! I have a lot of forgiveness work to do!)
I am grateful, today, that Americans are finally waking up. We are voting in droves, despite the pandemic. Finally, we are seeing that elections have consequences. There can be things done in a new administration that will undo what has happened over the past four years, and hopefully our governmental system can be repaired and rehabilitated. Ultimately, we will simply create a new, improved, liberal leaning corrupt system of government if we remain unforgiving and unwilling to do the painful and often unpleasant work required to assure the “happy outcome” occurs.
The world is unfolding the way it is because of the collective egos involved in all of it. If just enough of us are willing to break free of the ego’s lock-step of creating nothing but suffering – if just enough of us are willing to truly embrace forgiveness – then the happy outcome will arise from our new collective ego-consciousness that has awakened to meet the needs of many and not just the few – no matter who is running the government.
The Muslim mystic poet Hafiz gives us a guide to beginning our forgiveness journey and how to deal with those we are reluctant to forgive. He says he kneels before everyone who comes to his house for the first time, if they are not “being too proud,” because such honor helps them grow to their “full height.”
“I am one of God’s pillars in the world, and proxy too,” he continues, “always carrying out His wish.”
But what about the proud, those, “for whom it would be best if they not see me … humbly before them – on my knees, until they are ready?”
“Well, at night in my prayers, I place my head upon their feet. I plant, and help awaken, a sacred realm in all who have entered my mind.”
This is how forgiveness starts. I will kneel today before everyone I meet, whether in person or in my mind. I invite you to consider doing the same. This IS salvation’s simple formula.
Photo by Mika Brandt on Unsplash