Month: October 2020

We … have lost our way for a while.

A Course in Miracles, Lesson 300

Today’s lesson reassures us that this world of illusion is impermanent – it won’t last forever. Even those moments of desolation that seem to drag on and on will pass – the clouds of despair will depart and we’ll again see the blue skies of our eternal existence – where there is no death, decay or depression. We are created in eternal Love and joy and the Truth is we have never left it. We’ve simply become captivated by the clouds that cover our vision of the eternal home we still inhabit.

This message gives me heart as we approach the presidential election next week. Everything in this world is temporary – our hardships, our pleasures – they all scud by like clouds in the sky. Sometimes we believe the rain and storms will never pass – and often after they do, we find they have swept away everything we thought we knew – everything we believed was stable in our lives.

Holiness itself created me, and I can know my Source because it is Your Will that You be known.

– A Course in Miracles, Lesson 299

I walked around for a lot of years feeling like I wasn’t worth anything. My father trafficked in shame and blame and I don’t recall hearing a lot of encouraging words from either of my parents. In my teens and 20s, I was very quiet and in my first relationship, people would ask me a direct question and I would allow my partner to answer for me.

It was a radio talk show that drew me out of my shell and gave me the first steps I needed to overcome my shyness, as well as give me a budding sense of worth. It wasn’t that I heard this talk show – I created it. For some reason (Divine, I’m guessing), the powers that be at the radio station I was working for as a reporter and news anchor in Gainesville, Georgia, decided to give me an afternoon “drive time” talk show. In radio terms, that’s a sweet spot because people are trapped in their cars driving home with you on their radio.

That talk show required me to recruit guests, which meant (gasp!), I had to pick up a phone and talk to people and ask them to be on my show. Sure, most people wanted to do it because they had a cause, product or idea to promote, but making the ask the first few times terrified me! My ego voice kept saying, “Why would anyone want to talk to you on this rinky-dink AM radio station in a small NE Georgia town?”

My gratitude permits my love to be accepted without fear. And thus am I restored to my reality at last. All that intruded on my holy sight forgiveness takes away.

– A Course in Miracles, Lesson 298

During a songwriting retreat a few years ago, the leader challenged each person over the course of the week to do a handstand during our morning yoga session. One by one, the 20 participants or so volunteered to do the handstand, either assisted or not. Some were eager for the experience for the first time, others were handstand veterans and wanted to show off their stuff, others worked through their fear and eventually did it before the week ended.

Then there was me. I did not volunteer to do a handstand. I was cajoled by the others, offered several spotters and reassured that the experience would be fun and maybe even life-changing.

To this day, I have never done a handstand. My fear was greater than my trust in these people who were quickly becoming friends. No matter how hard I tried to want to do it, I could not find the courage to place my body in their hands.

Forgiveness is the only gift I give, because it is the only gift I want.

– A Course in Miracles, Lesson 297

I know, on this day, that I am not an enlightened master, because forgiveness is far from my heart. Last night, the Republican party accomplished its ultimate goal of packing the US Supreme Court with far-right ideologues who will favor corporations over the American people and roll back the civil rights advances of court’s past. It will be a generation before the court can be “righted” or even balanced again, if ever, depending on future presidents and the make-up of the Senate. There is talk of expanding the court, but I am skeptical that Democrats, who constantly bring jello to a gun fight, will have the political stomach to make it happen.

Given this event – and the past four years – I realize this morning that I have not forgiven those who either sat out the election in 2016 or those who voted “their conscience” and threw their ballots away on third-party candidates. See? I can’t even describe it in a forgiving way.