AYoMW – October 23, 2020: I have no words of my own left

Lesson 296: The Holy Spirit speaks through me today.

Several years ago, I wrote columns for a website called Religion Dispatches. I had a lot to say about topics at the intersection of religion and politics. One day, my editor asked me to write a piece very quickly about a celebrity known for anti-gay statements and actions. I wrote the piece in less than 30 minutes.

A fellow writer remarked in an email: “Wow, you are a machine.”

I certainly was. I could churn out commentary criticizing opponents of liberal ideas and causes in a New York minute. I had a lot to say. I had a lot of grievances to offer.

I’ve been a student of A Course in Miracles for at least the past three years and what I find these days is that I don’t have a lot to say about those who oppose the things I believe to be right and true. It’s not that I’m not dedicated to my causes anymore. I am – maybe even more so than before.

What I learned as a student of the Course is this: You can have a grievance, or you can have a miracle.

There’s a part of me that wishes I was still a machine that could churn out cutting critical commentary. There’s a higher part of me that now understands, though, that if I fill the world with grievances, I won’t be able to be a conduit for miracles.

My causes have not changed, but my perception has. I no longer see those who oppose my ideas as enemies. I see them as people who, like me, are caught up in the illusion. They, like me, are driven by their ego and their ego tells them that they must fight for what they believe in – and that fighting looks like tearing down the “other side,” demonizing and dehumanizing them, shaming them or marginalizing them.

This is not how we save the world. Grievances only beget more grievances and the miracles that could surely save this world are deflected. I don’t want to be a part of that system anymore.

Now, when I speak I do it more deliberately, more thoughtfully. Hopefully, what I do eventually speak or write comes not from my ego’s fearful grievances, but from my true, Divine Self – the Holy Spirit – speaking through me.

We have a choice in which voice we channel out into this world. We can be the spokesperson for the ego or for Holy Spirit. The ego only broadcasts criticism, anger, fear, hatred and grievance. The ego talks about how unfair the world treats, how evil others are, how they need to be “taken out,” or “defeated.”

The Holy Spirit’s message is only that of Love. It understands that every voiced grievance is a call for a Loving response. That Loving response unifies instead of divides. It seeks to see the common suffering each human is experiencing, even if their views of the world are polar opposites. When I allow Holy Spirit to speak through me, my words are gentle and kind, but at the same time they pierce to the heart of the matter – our common yearning to be free from suffering and enter into an unquenchable joy.

I’ve talked too long for the ego and it reaped nothing but kudos from those who agreed and scorn from those who disagreed. Nobody’s mind was ever changed by any of the various arguments I put forth. All those words … and still we suffer.

I don’t write critical commentaries anymore. I’ve found that I’m quite incapable of it these days, because my ear is tuned differently. I can see, hear and read the daily, even moment-by-moment, grievances the ego still broadcasts into the world, but my frequency is tuned to a different station these days. I seek to broadcast only what Holy Spirit would have me say.

Today’s lesson says this kind of living is “the easy path to God,” and I have found it to be true. Now, instead of feeling smarmy about how I “owned” by opponents, I feel grateful that I can be used to speak words of peace and Love. Those words have the power to change the world in ways that words of grievance will never have – because those kind, gentle words invite miracles that will “rescue us from hell.”

You can quote me on that.

Photo by Aatik Tasneem on Unsplash