Lesson 6: I am upset because I see something that is not there.
One of the main things the Course teaches is that “only love is real.” Which means, if we are not experiencing love – then what we feel like we’re experiencing isn’t real. That, of course, doesn’t mean events are not happening in this bodily realm. They are – something is going on and we’re upset by it.
But, in Reality – with that capital R – there’s nothing in this world that can upset us on the level of our true, divine Self. Our divinity knows nothing of slights or offenses. It doesn’t not understand being offended or giving offense. It does not traffic in shame, blame, evasion or lies.
When we become upset, we are seeing things that only exist in reality – with a little r – and that reality is ruled by the ego, which loves to be offended, to give offense, to slight others, shame others, blame others, and evade consequences or lie about things. When we become upset, then, it is a reminder to us that we are living in the ego’s world of illusions and separation.
On this level, of course, we must tend to our relationships – repair them, abandon them, learn from them – but in Reality, the slights have not occurred because nothing can disturb the peace of our divinity – especially not dreams.
A good friend stopped talking to me recently after a fairly grave misunderstanding that I cannot have an opportunity to explain when communication has broken down so severely. I have the choice to allow this to upset me – and I can feel that upset and frustration on one level, because my ego wants to explain things and straighten things out. I may, or may not, get that chance. On that higher level, however, I cannot be upset – because we are still in a state of holy communion – and communication – with one another and I know that through my prayers and meditation on our relationship, a miracle can come about to heal it.
For that to happen, I must let go of my upset on the ego level as well – always easier said than done – but today’s lesson is there to help.
I am upset because I see something that is not there – that misunderstanding – in the spirit realm, it never happened. Our relationship is holy and complete – because it always is – and when I concentrate on that perfected version of our relationship, I know it will be healed at the level it at which it needs to be healed.
It’s been said that forgiveness is never for the other person – but for yourself. Even if the separation isn’t healed on the egoic level, it can be ultimately healed when I forgive myself for the mistakes and miscreation I engaged in that harmed the relationship in the first place.
There is no order of magnitude in upsets, the Course says, a rift with a friend is just as upsetting as someone cutting me off in traffic. My ego wants to make one big and the other trifling – but anything that upsets our peace – that peace that passes the ego’s understanding – cuts us off from our ability to be miracle workers in this world.
This is not an invitation to engage in spiritual bypass – we have to deal with the problems we face – but everything we do is influenced by the spirit in which we do it. If we approach our problems from the ego’s level of shame and blame, we will never reach the peace we seek. If we bring the peace and love of God into each encounter – even those that upset us – then we allow space for the miracles to happen.
Meister Eckhart says for things to go well for us in our lives we “must find and learn to possess God in works,” and when we are in relationship with others we “ought first to make a powerful petition to God for his help, and put God immovably in [our] heart and unite all [our] intentions, thoughts, and power to God, so that nothing else than God can take shape in [us].”
When God is present in everything – when love, the only thing that is real takes hold in our heart and mind – we will, both Eckhart and the Course agree, know “true peace” and enter the realm of heaven.
Reference: Blakney, Raymond B.; The Essential Writings: Meister Eckhart. 1941: Harper Collins, p.14.