Lesson 24: I do not perceive my own best interests.
Over at the wiki How website they present a long, and quite tiring, article on how to make decisions. Astutely enough, it begins with identifying our fears and asking what we’re afraid of as we make a decision, which leads us into considering worse-case scenarios and whether we’ll be able to change our minds if things go sideways. It also advises us to talk to family and friends about all this before deciding what to do.
That’s Part 1.
In Part 2, we calmly do our research, consider five “whys,” think about who our decision will affect, list out all options and then … then! … make a spreadsheet for them, meditate on them and finally consider whether we’re acting intelligently or compulsively.
But, wait! There’s a Part 3.
Here, we make the decision – but ONLY after consulting with ourselves as we would a friend, play devil’s advocate (again!), consider if our decision makes us feel guilty or stems from guilt, consider how we’ll feel about this decision in the future, trust our instincts, have a backup plan in case of sideways movement and then …
Make a decision.
By that time, everyone else will have chosen a restaurant to go to and you’ll be alone fixing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Really.
Of course, the article is quite practical here in our ego-based world. At any and all points, your ego will seek to dissuade you from the process, sidetrack you, sabotage you and generally make you too tired to even do anything.
But, if you succeed in actually making it through that long process, today’s lesson says, you’ll still be wrong. Why? Because you have no idea what is in your best interest. The ego will tell you that it knows and it will assure you – even during this drawn-out process – that you have all the data you will ever need to make a decision.
You don’t, and you never will, the Course tells us.
Instead of being a time to despair, this really is very good news. It means we can skip that whole wiki-fied decision process and simply ask the Holy Spirit to provide the answers we need whenever decisions arise.
Oh, now, we’re back on the woo-woo train, right? Just relax and let God handle it.
No, we’re not and yes, really, let God handle it.
Does this mean we don’t have ANY process for decision-making? Of course not. We have the best process, which is to let our mind settle – to allow the muck and mire of the ego’s loud, insistent voice that this is all madness quiet down. Let it have its rant and when it’s done, you can think clearly at the level of spirit and choose the path that brings you the most peace, the most joy, the most fun.
But, what if none of those choices are available? Then we do this lesson until the most peaceful option presents itself.
All of our ideas about how we want things to go in any situation are contradictory. We can want a new job, but then balk when that perfect position requires us to relocate or take a lower salary, or a million other contradictory things.
We don’t know what is in our best interest. This lesson beckons us to surrender our certainty for faith in a higher power that always knows what’s best for us – even if it looks like it will bring nothing but chaos all around us.
And if we feel we’ve made a “wrong” decision? Hafiz has the answer:
“Few can escape self-made traps.
“And when a person falls into one, it is
natural to call out for help.
“If you attend such a plea, take someone
like me along as a safety rope or ladder…
Just in case you slip.”
Photo from Pexels
I am actually relieved to think that I do not know what’s in my best interest today. And that is enough for today. I will rest in what is.